Curse

Sir Skullcrasher · Sep 13, 2006, 03:59 PM // 15:59

Yo mama so dumb, she can't tell the difference between eggo and aggro. She thought there both breakfast foods!

I pwnd U · Sep 13, 2006, 04:32 PM // 16:32

Ok so here is one that is orginal as far as i know. I didnt make it up but a very drunk friend of mine did.

What color do trees speak in? BLUE

dont get it? ya me neither...

Ely Seako · Sep 13, 2006, 11:57 PM // 23:57

Ok if you want a good laugh, you have to watch some good old LEWIS BLACK! Yes its some videos but watch anyways!!!

http://kaws.guildportal.com/Guild.as...opicID=3148835

Theres 2 of them on that link, both are great =P

Lint · Sep 14, 2006, 12:31 AM // 00:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by What Now Homie

last thread you said there was 400k in storage... but...

Your picture is the only thing that made me acutally giggle. Your put in 3rd place. PM me ingame for ur reward.

Opeth11 · Sep 14, 2006, 12:38 AM // 00:38

Why did I pwnd U die?

I threw a fridge at him.

I tell bad jokes.

Shinigami God · Sep 14, 2006, 12:39 AM // 00:39

So a pirate walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says "You don't look so good." The pirate says "I feel fine." The bartender replies "But you only have one leg!" The pirate responds "Yeah, I lost it when I got shot with a cannon. But it's ok, I've got this wooden leg." "But you've only got one arm!" the bartender exclaimed. "Yeah, I lost it when I was boarding another ship, someone cut it off. But it's ok, I got this hook." "Are you sure you're ok?" said the bartender "You've only got one eye!" The pirate replied "Yeah, a bird shat in my eye." The bartender, confused, says "But that wouldn't take out your eye!" Then pirate answered "True, but it was the first day I had my hook."

Visualize that one! Hope you read through all of these, I find that one pretty amusing.

Paul Mahdi · Sep 14, 2006, 12:48 AM // 00:48

I like monkeys.

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that
odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to
look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His
name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really
bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed.
Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new
environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at
high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the
spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive:
they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead.
Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn
cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my
room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked
like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for
a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real
bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want
to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately
there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change
them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so
it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to
extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in
my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor
wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the
bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't
allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet
one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the
frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My
friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like
them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in
the genitals.

I like monkeys

- I'd give credit to whoever wrote this but I don't know who did....

Baggers · Sep 14, 2006, 12:49 AM // 00:49

Chavs.. they'll steal anything.

Malice Black · Sep 14, 2006, 02:08 AM // 02:08

lol ^^^ thats so true as well..RED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GOing chavs ruined this country

[DE] · Sep 14, 2006, 02:39 AM // 02:39

Original joke of the century! (written in binary for easy viewing)

The Redneck: 01010101010010101101010100010101010101010101!!!
The Asian: 1010101010110110101101?
George Bush: 1111111111111111101!!!!!!!!
The Redneck: 01!01!
The Asian: ...
George Bush: 1010?
The Redneck: 1010101001011010101101010100101010!!!!
The Punchline: That's what she said!

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Wasn't that funny?

You can tell I made it up myself....

Mars Dragonblade · Sep 14, 2006, 02:44 AM // 02:44

Edit: Screw the pics, if you want comedy you can't get better than Billy Connolly, period:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeWoo...elated&search=

Second one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJvuH...elated&search=

You CANNOT beat the legend himself, the Big Yin!

BTW you need to turn the volume up a wee bit on both of these for best effects

.

Ultimate Warrior · Sep 14, 2006, 04:22 AM // 04:22

This made me laugh alot... but thats just me, maybe your like me :P

Cyprus · Sep 14, 2006, 04:45 AM // 04:45

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead (as usual) rob a bank, when the police arrive and give chase. The three prospective criminals dash off into the countryside, the law hot on their collective tail. The redhead hops into a tree, the brunette behind a cow, and the blonde into a potato sack. A lone police officer decides to inspect the area, and begins sweeping the countryside. He's an inquisitive man, and so, he inquires at the foot of the tree, "Is there anybody up there?" The redhead cleverly replies, "TWEET-TWEET!" He shrugs, simply assuming that the only denizens of the tree happen to be birds. The police officer proceeds to inspect a nearby cow, and asks, "Is there anybody behind that cow?" The brunette hidden behind the bovine shrewdly answers, "MOOOOOOOOO." The police officer shrugs his shoulders and moves on. Finally, he almost trips over the potato sack and says to it, "Is there anyone within this sack of potatos?" The blonde within replies, "Potato... potato..."

d4nowar · Sep 14, 2006, 05:06 AM // 05:06

Everyone's heard of pokemon. Well I sure was suprised when I saw this photo of the elusive Geodude floating around the internet...

http://www.guildwarsguru.com/forum/a...1&d=1158210102(Note the tag on the bottom-left. Meaning the picture isn't mine. Go through the rest of that site for some amazing photoshopped images though.)

The Silver Star · Sep 14, 2006, 07:26 AM // 07:26

Why did the Sheep cross the road?

To ge to the Baa Baa shop.

What has to be broken before it can be used? An Egg ^^

Cebe · Sep 14, 2006, 07:29 AM // 07:29

#1: Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels!

Sir Skullcrasher · Sep 14, 2006, 07:10 PM // 19:10

I know that i'm breaking the rule but here goes nothing.

I have the urge to say this for EVERYONE! It's just pixels guys and girls. No need to panic just because their face looked like it got ran over by an Hummer.

Opeth11 · Sep 14, 2006, 10:51 PM // 22:51

How did me throwing a fridge at I pwnd U not win this contest?

The idea is just so assinine, it works.

Paul Mahdi · Sep 14, 2006, 10:52 PM // 22:52

Because everyone has thought of throwing a fridge at Pwnd.

Opeth11 · Sep 14, 2006, 10:53 PM // 22:53

Great. But I have a dislocated shoulder, so it should be special in my case?